Medicine is all about pattern recognition. 17-year-old with gradual onset of RLQ pain and loss of appetite? I know this one. 28-year-old with a painful genital rash after a weekend in Vegas? Here’s your Valtrex. 85-year-old with unintentional weight loss and night sweats? Better stop buying green bananas.
Pattern recognition carries over to other parts of the hospital as well. In fact, it spills out into the parking lot. What you drive says a lot about you and a quick stroll through the doctor’s lot speaks volumes about your colleagues.
Let’s take a little stroll through the doc lot and see if any of these sound familiar.
What it says: I want a reliable, affordable way to get to work.
Who owns it: 29-year-old hospitalist who hopes this car lasts until the student loans are paid off.
What it says: I may be a doctor, but I see myself as a blue-collar worker.
Who owns it: Middle aged family doc. Lives in the suburbs. Used the truck bed one time to move a friend’s couch.
What it says: I care about the environment……almost as much as I care about owning a Tesla.
Who owns it: 39-year-old interventional cardiologist. Uses cath lab call to justify owning a car with a “ludicrous mode”.
What it says: I’ve got too many kids to be worried about what you think of my choice in transportation.
Who owns it: 48-year-old rheumatologist with two boys in soccer and a daughter who needs to be picked up from dance class after clinic.
What it says: I’d rather be outdoors. I don’t take myself too seriously and judge any doc who does.
Who owns it: A sarcastic 36-year-old ER doc who begrudgingly upgraded to a 4 door jeep after his third kid. (AKA – Me).
What it says: I like nature, I just don’t want to drive through it.
Who owns it: 45-year-old OB/Gyn who wants a 4 wheel drive car that will get her to the hospital safely regardless of the weather.
What it says: I never worked at a trauma center and am overconfident with my driving abilities.
Who owns it: 53-year-old psychiatrist who can spot any mid-life crisis except his own. Never questions what Freud would say about his 100 horsepower crotch rocket.
What it says: All this income hasn’t made me less boring.
Who owns it: 47-year-old radiologist who needed something “more sporty” than his old BMW (which was also black).
What it says: I’m 5’9” and my divorce isn’t finalized yet.
Who owns it: 55-year-old plastic surgeon who is currently asking the 22-year-old PACU nurse if she’s ever driven a Lamborghini before.
What it says: I show up to work sweaty. I want you to know that I care more about the environment/frugality/my health than you do.
Who owns it: That anesthesiologist who lives 1/2 mile from the hospital and always seems oddly sweaty for 7:30 AM in an air-conditioned building.
What’s Your Ride?
It’s none of my business what you drive. Some people are car people, while other people could care less. Like it or not, what you park in the doctor’s lot says a lot about you. I’ve driven three of these things to work over the years (Honda Civic, Jeep Wrangler and a bike) and they all have their pros and cons.
Reading this blog says a lot about you too. You must be smart, witty, attractive and have discerning taste in writing. Good for you!
Whether you’re driving that car to your main job or a side hustle, I hope you enjoy the ride.